These are really random thoughts;
I was tanning IN the pool the other day.
A cleaner auntie was sweeping the floor very near me,
when another cleaner walked up to her.
I had my eyes close but i can HEAR everything they said in Hokkien because
one was sweeping on my right,
and the other was walking towards her on my left,
"Auntie, i cannot work here anymore," she started weeping.
"Aiyo. Don't cry lar.
The management ask you not to come tomorrow is it?
Dont' cry be good,
Auntie help you ask around for another job..."
"Jobs are so difficult to find now,"
she murmured through her sobs,
"I cannot work here anymore.
They say they don't want me.
Why am i so unlucky.... ..."
My heart aches a little for the cleaner.
I wondered what she'd done that the management didn't want to employ her anymore.
I opened my eyes and her feet were at my eye level;
swollen with bumps and bruises.
she looked in her mid thirties.
I noticed she walked crippledly as the other auntie wrapped her arms around her shoulders;
She might have diabetes;
this thought striked my mind.
She couldn't keep her job maybe because
she might have not been performing to the standards.
i sympathise her truly.
in future once i start making money.
I want to do alot of good deeds;
donations, do volunteer service- locally and overseas.
i want to help however i can.
My health is detorriating every, single, day.
I need 2full weeks of rest...
All the insomnia, recordings,
overlooking at the music production of my CD,
rushing through the video making, CD designing,
travelling up and down woodlands and kembangan with motion sickness...
But seriously, it's nothing to me...
i feel all these are nothing compared to losing my voice.
Without being able to sing is like a heroine addict without his heroine.
I feel so helpless now,
like a samurai without his sword.
I tried to reach for a pitch,
but no sound came out;
not even a shriek.
It's so horrible i sound like worse than a transex now.
don't play a fool with me.
COme back now now now now now now,
Bottles of honey lemon drinks,
1 whole pot of cooling tea,
H2o don't seem to help at all,
except for the extra frequent visits to the toilet now.
Ever since Buddy passed away for the motorbike accident almost 4yrs ago,
I never forgotten what he said to me.
He wants me to work hard to continue writing more songs,
and follow my passion with my heart.
He seems to understand that i'm really interested.
He was the first person who noticed my passion,
and he motivated me alot in this to keep improving.
Thank you Buddy,
for believing in me.
And i strongly believe you will bless me in heaven.
Wondering why i brought up Buddy again?
That's because on my way home just now,
i saw a motorbike accident with a cab in woodlands.
The whole bike was overturned on the 2nd lane,
with a pool of blood underneath.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
I could just picture Buddy there when he died....
Human lives are so fragile;
Please cherish your life;
I started to pick up this habit of peeping into Chrissy's facebook account everyday;
to take a look at any updates he make.
Seems like he's NOT online as frequent nowadays.
And i come to a conclusion;
he has a new girl within his boundary.
it's either he's busy chasing after her now,
or they're already together.
That might explain his disappearance.
I wonder why he hasn't contact us in regards to the Escape Theme Park trip
he'd planned for this weekend.
He's supposed to be the planner.
Yet he hasn't make any move...
I hope now he realize that being a group organisor isn't that easy afterall.
The moment I've slacked down;
we got seperated...
One must really take the initiative and don't mind the trouble
to contact everyone so that we will really stay together.
I wonder whether i should start planning events again.
About Self Improvement.
i will start focusing back on my career, health and passion.
I'm going full force into my career and setting my path right.
I am going to practise on my vocal improvement.
I think I know where went wrong;
I dare not project out my voice,
hence it does not make people's hair stand when listening to it.
Plus, i need more feelings when i sing my songs.
I need to jog more often to improve my breaths,
and i need to listen to more of how others sing to improve my singing technics.
i need to go to school and graduate!
go go go!