I AM BUSY

I AM BUSY.

this is the lousiest excuse one can make up to tell another.
How busy can you be to the extend of ignoring everything,
every phonecalls, every morning, every meals, every bedtime, every bath
and everyone around you???

I AM BUSY seems just the best excuse to use over this;
"Can't you see that you're not important enough
to be in my life schedule?
Now can you please f*** off and find someone else?"

The cold hard fact is that 'i am busy'
sounds more relevant and friendlier to use than the 2nd one.
Besides, it's definitely much,much shorter and save alot of precious time
to type and send it to that person who you don't even want to 'entertain'.

I'm getting PRE-PMS.
So if i ignore anyone,
vent my anger and frustration,
gets irritated easily and pulls a long face,
IT IS OKAY.

And stop keep asking me why
because the plain reason is,
I'm having Pre-PMS.
i dare tell you,
this is worse than having PMS.

When a woman is frustrated,
the best is ignore her.
And stop asking her questions like
whether somebody annoyed her or anything like that.
Most likely,
YOU are the one annoying her.
So don't look for trouble.

Trust me on that.
Just be normal.
That's the best thing to do.
If you're her bf,
give her plenty of smiles- since it's free.
For a bonus, tell her sincerely that 3 golden words-i love you.
Your trouble would be greatly reduced.

I've been 'hiding' in my room recently.
Don't feel like stepping out of the house.
Not even go to my doorstep if i don't have to.

Once in a while,
being alone isn't such a bad thing afterall.
It calms you down and sets you thinking.
Best of all,
you can lay down that mask you wear,
and really, really, be yourself.

Just yourself,
and nobody else.

I'm back from Iluma with my 2dearest sisters
and their bfs.
We caught 'the ugly truth' together.
This story meant alot to me.

The leading actress reminds me so much of her-
a perfectionist, a 100% men-commentator, a high-up-there woman...
She really portrayed how much i acted to be someone a man will love,
and how to 'catch' a good bait.

And when i finally fall in love with that person who claims he love me,
he left me after knowing my true self- unbearable.

Is it really a habit,
or is it true love?
Someone asked me this last week...

I think it is a habit to love him.
And it's a definite answer that i love him truly;
there's no doubt about it.

The reason why i cannot let go,
i don't even know myself.

I once told this lady who's in trouble for loving a bad boy.
This is what i told her,
"Women are creatures of love.
Without love, they'll be nothing.
If you want to stop loving that person,
the only way is to love another-
be it career, dog, family, friends, freedom or even to get a new crush.
Otherwise, you'll never move on..."

I strongly believe what i said.
I've yet to find one that i can successful divert my love to though.
I find it terribly difficult after
all the life lessons the last r/s gave me.

This phobia that lingers in my heart, my mind, my blood.
I get goosebumps when men say they like me.
I start to avoid when they try to do something more than what friends do.
I cannot seem to fall into that love trap nor climb out of it.

To avoid all these worrying BGR matters,
i choose to stay on to the previous one- the easiest way out.
I mean,telling someone that i don't love anyone or that I
don't have anyone in mind sounds cliche and hard to believe,
isn't it? lolx.


Stop asking me about love,
and stop asking to stop loving him.
I want to stop talking about BGR matters,
completely.